Failed At The Thing For Which He Was Hired

It was Scott's job to stand around every day and deceive the people his office was entrusted to protect and serve. Mcclellan is a complete mental and spiritual degenerate - a goobery slimebag with lower than average intelligence (I'd guess Southern Baptist), and with ZERO experience related to the job of White House Press Secretary. Scott was just another mildly retarded Texas moral-whore friend-of-the-Bush-family hired for ONE TRAIT and one single trait alone: Loyalty. AND HE FAILED AT THAT. I am literally LOL. At least Scott appears to have finally been haunted by something resembling a conscience. The book begins: "The truth shall set you free." Maybe this Texas dirtbag really woke up, and is NOT a sociopath.

Official Launch Of Aethlos HD

The world of 1080 HD has changed my life. Now I've got an awesome new HD camera, and I'm starting a new HD company. The first step will be building a giant library of 1080 stock clips. Once you've switched over to HD, it's hard to even look at a normal TV again with its fuzzy low-def image. I'm catching this tech wave early (in ten years there will be no such thing as low-def, and every frame of low-def footage will be worthless - I'll be rich, rich, rich!). I want to drive across the country and shoot all the major sites and cities, and start with 50,000 ten-second 24/fps HD clips which will be available for licensing through Aethlos HD!

IML Weekend Wrap Up

The Grabbys was a hit this year. Bruce Vilanch didn't make it, because his mom went into the hospital, but in his place was Andy Bell of Erasure fame. Andy presented "Hottest Cock" award in Bruce's place. Andy, Dave, and I had a blast at the show, and at Chi Chi's afterparty at Circuit. Then Andy sang last night at House of Blues. Fantastic. Andy is so married now, so domestic - I can't wait to see him in London. I also had a delicious dinner Friday night with Stacy Bridges and Erik Rhodes. Erik, the Susan Lucci of porn finally won two Grabbys! That's the most quality-time I've ever had with one man. I missed Bruce terribly this weekend, but we will see him next year. After Chi Chi's party Aaron James of MTV's Tru Life fame came back to my house for a quiet afterparty. What a great weekend. The windows are open. The weather is perfection. The sun splashes through the house. I can't imagine life could be any better or I could be any happier than I am now. These are the good ol days - Corpus Christi, how I cherish every second. I love my life.

UPS Wobbles The Mind

Have you ever contemplated what an organizational mind-warp UPS is? Consider that UPS will handle more than 22 million packages worldwide on peak day this year. That's more than 250 packages per second. On a typical day, UPS moves more than 15 million packages worldwide. UPS Airlines, the ninth largest in the world, will add thirty-two chartered aircraft to its year-round operating fleet to handle the influx of holiday packages. UPS moves packages on over 2,300 flights per day during peak week, which is more than 400 more than on a typical day. I order a lot of stuff from Amazon, and I'm obsessed with my UPS account - the tracking features. It really blows me away to contemplate how this all works. I think it would make a great documentary to follow a UPS box.

I've Never Been This Proud To Be An American

He makes me want to be a better citizen. Obama for President. Oh, and that Iran Post was in the wrong blog. I moved it over to "Streaming Weltanschauung" - the unstructured rants.

Aren't The Eulogies A Bit Premature?

Poor Ted Kennedy of Chappaquiddick fame has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Every news channel has ditched its election coverage to trot out grown man after weeping grown man (all pussies! everyone knows men don't cry in public (unless they're actors)) oozing schmaltzy sappy sentimental jam-on-your-face eulogization ("Oh Ted was such an brilliant, strong, powerful man"). Uh, pardon me, but HE'S NOT DEAD YET. Can we wait a few days before donning sackcloth and ashes to gnash collectively at the holy shrine of American political celebrity? Can we wait till he's tits-up for all this schmaltzy garbage? Oh, and while I'm at it - funny how he was just an old liberal asshole yesterday. Today he announces he has a brain tumor and now he's Saint Fucking Francis. Why doesn't anyone have something nice to say about us until we're terminal? The Kennedy women can buy another black dress. I'm so glad I wasn't born into that unlucky clan. Corpus Christi. Nicely-timed tumor Teddy - way to steal Hillary's thunder. Is everything political - after all?

Join Me In The Prayer Of The Seven African Powers Jesus Candle

I just returned from the south side of Chicago where I was scoping out Reverend Wright's church, and I stopped and bought this magnificent candle on the way home. This is no ordinary candle mind you, it's a Seven African Powers Jesus Candle - "Las Siete Potencias Africanas" (not a five black powers Jesus candle, not a three black powers Jesus candle, but a SEVEN Black Powers Jesus Candle!). The prayer is written on the back of the candle. Please bow your heads, and pray it with me: "Oh Seven African Powers, who are so close to our Divine Savior Jesus Christ - with great humility I kneel before thee and implore your intercession before Almighty God. Hear my petition and grant me peace and prosperity. Please remove forever all of the obstacles that cause me to sin. Oh, Divine Jesus I trust in your words, 'ask and you shall receive'. Amen." (The Seven Black Powers are: Obatalia, Yemalia, Ochum, Chango, Orula, Ogum, and Elegua respectively (if you would like to pray to each one individually)). BLACK JESUS POWER!

Fifth Largest Economy On Earth Legalizes Gay Marriage

Hosannas in the Highest, between today's California Supreme Court Decision, and the return of Indiana Jones, I'm starting to believe there is a God. I can't wait to move to California, where I can marry a movie-nerd and carry a joint in the car. Gay Marriage and Medical Marijuana. Praise Jesus, Allahu Akbar - Civilization hits North America!

There Is A God

May 22nd. I'll be there. UB2! DOWNLOAD THE RAIDERS ANTHEM.

U.S. State Department Warning

This warning isn't from the State Department, rather about it. I am now in the FOURTEENTH week of waiting for my passport. I paid the extra $60 fee for the 2-4 week service, and everyone at the office swore to me there was no reason to go the $300 'white-glove' route. They said as long as I paid the 2-4 week fee I'd be fine, "don't worry, you'll get it." I had to CANCEL my trip through the Panama Canal because of the lazy, degenerate State Department. Fuck You Uncle Sam. You screwed up my trip. WARNING: If you need a passport within the next six months, apply now. I hate this. Is this really happening to me? Is this a NIGHTMARE, or am I actually TRAPPED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? Corpus Christi! Someone help me! I want OUT OF THIS COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY! I WANT MY PASSPORT NOW. Fuck Condi, and the entire State Department - you've wrecked my travel plans and trapped me here.

Drop Everything You're Doing And Read This Book Immediately

Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. Leave the office now, or your house, go immediately to the closest bookstore and purchase this book and cancel the rest of your evening and read it before tomorrow. Why do 30% of people buy jam from a jam display with 6 flavors, and only 3% buy when there are 20 flavors to choose from? I bet you didn't know that firing a gun can cause temporary autism, or that holding a pen between your teeth makes cartoons funnier, and holding it between your lips make them less funny. Have you ever taken the Pepsi challenge with three glasses instead of two? Do you know how Cook County Hospital revolutionized heart attack diagnosis by giving doctors far less information rather than far more? This book is about rapid cognition, or "thin slicing". Why have most police departments banned high-speed chases? THIN SLICING IS INFINITELY FASCINATING... it will teach you how a "microexpression" might save your life. (Leo DiCaprio paid a MILLION BUCKS for the movie rights). Drop whatever you are doing, take a day off work, and read this book. You will never look at the world the same way again, and it might actually save your life someday - in a BLINK.

Dan Abrams Reads Yours Truly On MSNBC

I regularly harangue Dan and the MSNBC team, but this is the first time they've been sensible enough to publish a snippet of my editorial. Say my name Dan Abrams! MSNBC RULES. DAN ABRAMS FOREVER. Rachel Maddow is god. Oh, and fuck Chris McKewan. After Hours on MSNBC is a triumph. I pierced the din!

Tidings

“There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures.”

Thanks Uncle Sam

I got my gumment check today! And I'm so poor I actually got back more than I paid. Shut up. Sad state of financial affairs for a college kid. CAN I PLEASE MARRY A MILLIONAIRE?

Get Bruce On Demand Now!

If you have Encore On Demand (Chicago Comcast anyway), you can go to Encore; Movies; All Movies; and select GET BRUCE!

Drop What You're Doing A VOTE for my friend RONNIE!

Vote for RONNIE in BOTH categories: (unclick the "sign me up for newletter" before you vote, that's faster)
http://www.logoonline.com/shows/newnownext_awards/vote.jhtml?qn=nnn_poll_05.
PLEASE VOTE FOR RONNIE!:
http://www.logoonline.com/shows/newnownext_awards/vote.jhtml?qn=nnn_poll_05.

Chicago

Photo by Doug Luccio-Camelo

Huge Crush On Rachel Maddow Leads To Addiontional Crush On Paul Shoul

I posted a photo of my Lezbean Goddess & King of MSNBC, Rachel Maddow (whom I adore and worship). Now Paul Shoul emails me to say "hey queen, you nicked my pic!", so I replaced his Maddow photo with another one, but now, of course (fickle me), I have a crush on Paul Shoul. He takes gorgeous pics, and it looks like he's traveled as much as I have. Paul's site is gorgeous, check it out.

What Do You Feel At 3 A.M. When The Dog Awakens Suddenly And Stares Intently Down A Dark Hallway?

... The Gift of Fear, of course. Gavin De Becker's tiny book is an excellent pop psychology classic. Why do people commit violence? What is the chain leading to violence? This book is a marvelous read. Much of it (to someone as sensitive as me) is instinctive, but there's a lot of delicious stuff in here about the violence "process". How to spot dangerous psychopaths: "forced teaming", "loansharking", etc. There are no "gut feelings" (save indigestion), these "feelings" are cognitive processes, and they are deliciously explored in this little book. The eerie aspects of "I promise", etc. Quotations: "the smile is the typical disguise used to mask emotions ... 'niceness' is a decision, a social interaction, not a character trait..." (432 pages/read slowly=3 hours, read fast=2 hours, I read twice through this one in 6 slow hrs. I'm reading about 5 books a week now (2 or 3 on Saturday and 2 or 3 on Sunday)). This post is a mess, get the book.

De Bono's Lateral Thinking Kicks Off My Psych Canon

I'm officially beginning my (pop) psychology education. I'm going to read a 50 work Canon starting with De Bono's "Lateral Thinking". I just finished this book (twice through), and it is fascinating. "Lateral thinking" is not a skill that, once mastered, provides epiphanies. This book is important because it really gets one thinking - about thinking. It gets into the processes of thinking. After this it's on to Freud, Int. of Dreams; Fred Skinner; Gavin De Becker, The Gift of Fear; Eric Berne (Transactional Analysis); Malcolm Gladwell, Blink; Karen Horney; Erik Erikson; Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person; Piaget, Maslow, Gestalt, Steven Pinker; Eric Hoffer, The True Believer; Daniel Goleman; R.D. Laing, The Divided Self: An Existential Study in Sanity and Madness; etc., etc. I'll post a blurb about each book as I read same.

Sex Police Claim Trillionth Victim

Deborah Palfrey, the "D.C. Madam" was found dead today. She apparently hanged herself rather than face a possible 50+ years in prison. This woman didn't even hook, she just introduced the hookers to the law-makers. What a gruesome end to a disgusting witch hunt. She was responsible for getting half of congress blown, and this is the way the law treated her. If any of my gentle readers desire oral sex, give me a brief description of yourself and your type, and I will see if I can hook you up. But no money may change hands. That would make it illegal, and I'm too cowardly (jeez what a pathetic coward I am) to fight The Man. Fuck You Man. I should be able to charge whatever I want for locating blowjobs (free or otherwise) for red-blooded American men. Rest peacefully Deb. You were a personal hero of mine.