U.S. State Department Warning

This warning isn't from the State Department, rather about it. I am now in the FOURTEENTH week of waiting for my passport. I paid the extra $60 fee for the 2-4 week service, and everyone at the office swore to me there was no reason to go the $300 'white-glove' route. They said as long as I paid the 2-4 week fee I'd be fine, "don't worry, you'll get it." I had to CANCEL my trip through the Panama Canal because of the lazy, degenerate State Department. Fuck You Uncle Sam. You screwed up my trip. WARNING: If you need a passport within the next six months, apply now. I hate this. Is this really happening to me? Is this a NIGHTMARE, or am I actually TRAPPED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? Corpus Christi! Someone help me! I want OUT OF THIS COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY! I WANT MY PASSPORT NOW. Fuck Condi, and the entire State Department - you've wrecked my travel plans and trapped me here.