Fuck Israel, Fuck Hezbollah, And Fuck Gibson

Israel's response to the kidnapped soldiers is the geopolitical equivalent of: You throw a rock at me - I burn your house down. The problem with Israel is its adherence to this overreactionary and dangerously short-sighted behavior - so fucking stubborn and prickish. The problem with Hezbollah and Hamas is that they're too fucking stupid to realize if you throw a rock at someone and they burn your house down TWENTY SEVEN FUCKING TIMES, then just maybe it's time to STOP THROWING ROCKS. And then there's this twisted fucking train wreck snuff-film director Mel Gibson, what a douchebag drunk-driving piece of trash. 18,000 corpses - per year in this country - splattered all over the highways because of drunk drivers. Get thee to rehab Jesus-boy. Oh, and then there's the excruciating pain of having a broken back. God knows what chronic pain will do to my mood in another week, month, yikes! This blog is probably going to get pretty dark, and I may have to issue apologies by winter. Oh, and Fuck George Bush too. xoxoxo

I'm High Again! Legally!

I have a hundred and eighty vicodin that say I'm moving to Malta with Coleridge.

OUCH!

You learn the strangest things when you break your back. There are 158 steps west on Belmont between Seminary and Racine (and two steps down and two steps up). There are 38 steps from the ground to the el platform at Belmont. Not 39 steps. Not 37 steps. Ahhh... 37 steps would be so much easier. As horrible as this pain is, it's also infinitely fascinating. I've never experienced anything like it. Imagine having a heart attack while in heat stroke the second someone stabs you in the back - all day. Wear your seatbelts girls. (yes! of course I had mine on! or I'd be in heaven right now (or the other place with all the fun people and all my friends))

Position In The World

Okay, now that I'm almost totally incapable of getting out of bed, I might as well get back to some bloggging. I was neglecting the blog when the show was running, but I won't be back on a stage for at least two months. I've also been watching television again (Project Runway is back, whoohoo!), and the news - the middle east falling apart, the Iraqis not being raped and murdered by American soldiers are being slaughtered wholesale in increasing numbers each day... America, thanks to that retarded fucking shitbag in the white house... We Are Fucked.

That Evil Truckin Fuck

Here I was Thursday night before they cast my body brace. We're replacing that two-seater convertible with a GIGANTIC LINCOLN with four doors and airbags all the way around. I won't even get behind a wheel for at least 3 months, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to drive a tiny little sports car again - yikes. It was fucking terrifying. I'm so bummed about missing the show last Friday and this Friday, but when I return to the stage it will be all the sweeter - and I'll add this episode to the narrative... "is that all you got?!" It's going to be fantastic. Thanks for all your cards and notes and flowers!!! OMG, it looks like a funeral home in here... HEY, I'm not DEAD ya know! ;) xoxoxo

L2 Burst Fracture

I feel like I was hit by a truck - because I was hit by a truck. Thursday at 2:31 on I-90 I was sideswiped by a semitruck. My car (two seater) flew off the highway into a cement wall, bounced off the wall and spun around a few times against the wall tearing off all four corners of the car. Upon seeing the remains of the car (and me walking around) the EMTs were a bit shocked that I was actually the driver. "You were the driver? Of THAT car?!" I was very lucky. The only damage my body sustained was an "L2 burst fracture". I spent Thursday going through all kinds of tests, x-rays, cat scans, etc. at Northwestern, and then was fitted for a body-brace. Please forgive me for cancelling the show last night - all your tickets will be refunded or honored for a future performance. I'm down, but I'm not fuckin out... and I will be posting pics of the wreck...

Comedy Sandwich

Thank God for good friends at a time like this. Love you Bruce and Ant. xoxoox Thank you. (and how much do I love Bruce for wearing that Correctional Fluids t-shirt?!)

Third Show Friday

I'm so excited that Bruce is coming Friday! I'm also looking forward to meeting Ant, the comedian from last comic standing... he's coming to the show too! We're all going to XO after for liquor and boywatching... Gay Games are here... pulchritude everywhere. Oh, and while it's on my mind, FUCK YOU IRAN - for executing two gay teens - take your fucking Sharia and ram it up your sick fucking homophobic bloodthirsty cunts you twisted fuckwads. Oh, on a cooler note: Google's 'aethlos' image search brings back lots of memories. :)

Two Down

Wow, last night was so much better. I rewrote the first act - threw in more Teresa stories, and the second act was okay, but I blew the closing speech - ouch! Bruce Vilanch is coming to the next one so I have all week to hammer out some more kinks... ugh. I hope to see you all there again!, and thanks to everyone who came back and brought friends! It's only getting better - and more fun. Also, drinks at XO with Bruce after the show Friday! JOIN US!!!

Satisfaction

I got a letter today from Daniel Kinkade, who saw the show Friday night. His letter was so moving and so important to me (and see his BLOG POST about the show) that it made the entire endeavor worthwhile. I'm still waiting to read the critical reviews, but even if they suck, it was worth it. Thanks Daniel. 48 hours later - I've decided I loved the show... and this Friday is going to be even more fun... and the Friday after that Bruce Vilanch will be in my audience... can't wait! Thank you all for your incredible reviews and kudos. If you thought I was mad as hell Friday night - you ain't seen nothin yet. I hope you'll all come back for more... THE CORRECTIONAL FLUIDS STORE IS NOW OPEN!

I'm Alive

Deepest and most profound gratitude to: Maharaja Munaf Rayani, Sir Mark Smith, King Michael James, and His Majesty Chris Hrasky - who, collectively, and known as Explosions In The Sky - have saved my very life, and perhaps my eternal soul. After all these wonderful years agnostic I can say, to my delight and surprise, that there IS a god. I just fear now that I've seen him - I will be haunted by the revelation until the day I die. What would I do without you EITS?
I would be dead already.

Holy Shit

I felt like i bombed... but people said i was good... i'll post the reviews when they're published... Thank God Opening night is over. THANK YOU EVERYONE!...

Cover Story

The Cover Story on the show is out. Be sure to pick up a copy of this week's Gay Chicago Magazine! David Guarino wrote a nice article about me and the show with an extensive interview (for the online version click on "After Dark (Feature)" in Gay Chicago's website. Fantastic. Can't wait to see all of you Friday night!