My 'Welcome Back' Plan For Iraq

Withdraw all Americans except private contractors who can implement the following: heli-drop into Iraq $30 billion in armaments: rifles, RPGs, grenades, etc. ($10 billion worth throughout each of the three regions - north, middle, and south.) Drop $1 billion in satellite-link video production equipment: cameras, laptops, satellite phones, etc. Rupert Murdoch will manage the distribution network which will package and broadcast the Civil War on a Pay-Per-View basis. Sell advertising for the Network broadcasts: Phillip Morris and the NRA will be the main sponsors. The programming will air LIVE every Sunday (read: “empty churches”), with Civil War On-Demand throughout the week. Enlist bookies from Vegas to Atlantic City to take bets on the winner: Sunni, Shiite, Kurd or Other. Murdoch will transfer weekly broadcast profits into the Cayman accounts of the seven Jewish Bankers who run the world. Finally, give Saddam Hussein a pair of tighty-whities, some Banana Republic khakis, a Kevlar vest, rifle, megaphone, and a Britney Spears CD - put him in a tank and loose him in the middle of Baghdad. Then I can recline in my lazyboy, crack open an MGD, and tune in: "A Fox News Special Event... The Iraq Civil War Live!... in five, four, three, two, one... ‘Oh-oh say can you see by the dawn's early light........”