Monochrome Monotony
I took another load of stuff to the new pad, and took some more pics. The empty living room and wood floors feel like a stage so, naturally, I started rehearsing. I got to the Richard III schtick (the Gloucester as nellie cokehead), and hit the line "or hew my way out with a bloody ax!" There was a bang on the door. Eek. I opened it to discover a woman affecting the nastiest glare. She spoke: "WHAT is THAT?!" I smiled, "that's Richard the third..." "I don't care if it's King Henry the Fifth!!!" (I gave her a point for that) And not being able to resist that kind of opening, I started in: "Oh for a Muse of FIRE!..." She was not amused (which makes me believe she only knew the title, not the play). "Sorry..." said I, "I'll rehearse at the theater from now on..." "I'm Mrs. X" said she. "I'm Spencer, your new neighbor." She stormed back into her apartment next door. I think we have a recipe for a sitcom bitches. Stay tuned... this could get ugly.
posted by Aethlos at 12:05 PM
11 Comments:
Sounds ugly already.
Aww – You have a new best friend. I am sure in no time you two will be doing each other’s hair and talking about boys.
BTW, you have numerous pictures of Mencken. I am not going to suggest that you are obsessed, but if you start dressing like him, I am calling a therapist.
See? Much needed optimism.
I'll win her over... i'm great with the old gals... and i don't have the foot traffic i did in the cola days...OH!, i have a hot doorman... named nedim, yummmmy. i'm sure i'll be blogging about him. Now i'll be up all night trying to figure out how many horrible consequences that i never considered will result from moving this blog... ugh........
Like most sitcoms, it's the sort of situation that would be very funny observed from a safe distance, but the reality of it could well be another matter. I mean, can you imagine having to put up with the likes of Basil Fawlty in real life?
If you want to quote Shakespeare at her and really leave her confused, may I suggest Demetrius' speech when, his eyes newly dabbed with love-in-idleness, he wakes and sees Helena?
"O Helen, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine!
To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne?
Crystal is muddy. O, how ripe in show
Thy lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow!"
etc.
All you Shakespearean types. Maybe you should inviite her and another hag to join you in reciting Macbeth.
"Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire, burn; and caldron, bubble."
As Mencken himself observed:
"Life may not be exactly pleasant, but it is at least not dull. Heave yourself into Hell today, and you may miss, tomorrow or next day, another Scopes trial, or another War to End War, or perchance a rich and buxom widow with all her first husband's clothes. There are always more Hardings hatching. I advocate hanging on as long as possible."
Such deep thoughts over the fact that you simply made too much fucking noise.
Thanks Spencer! I updated my links. :)
Uncultured bitches make it crawl back up inside me and hide in fear.
There's always the flaming bag to put by her door.....
Post a Comment
<< Home