Girls Behaving

What is wrong with me? I can't stop watching this horrible television show: Girls Behaving Badly. I remember as a child I was transfixed by Allen Funt and his candid camera. I'm a voyeur, and few things light me up as bright as watching people behave naturally. The most delicious moment in these pranks is usually the reveal--the half second wherein the prankee puts the pieces together. I'm turned on by the stare of a mind-at-work...
the moment of discovery that sweeps the human face... I love that. Perhaps why I'm so madly in love with teaching: eyes lit by discovery make me tingle all over. Mmmmm... yeah... that's right... learn baby... learn.

Frist's Bean & Kudrow's Comeback

Oxygen appears to have reached Bill Frist's brain--read about it at Reuters. I'm not afraid of bombs, or germs, or global warming, or even terrorists. I'm afraid of Alzheimer's disease. God forbid anyone should face the unspeakably grisly mental evaporation of this disease without Pfizer, Merck, Lilly, and Squibb in their arsenal. Start the stem cell research as soon as possible, and allocate BILLION$. Oh wait, Frist's bean isn't newly oxygenated--he's whoring himself to the middle in anticipation of his presidential campaign. Lovely guy. Here's an interesting A.I. dialogue - a conversation between a metal machine and a meat machine.
Orphaned works of art and literature put scholars at odds over copyrights. [Chronicle]
Ken Tucker defends Lisa Kudrow's Comeback. OMG--I absolutely LOVE this show--Valerie Cherish is a complex character--depressingly funny.
Hallelujah, Beethoven beats Bono in downloads. [Guardian]
Today's word: SWAG: 'Stuff We All Get', or 'free promotional stuff'.
Don't miss Kim Clark, Dean of Harvard B School, on CR.

Ian Sklarsky's Blog and Polo

Do not miss Ignacio Figueras on Charlie Rose. He's a world champion polo player from Argentina, as well as the latest face of Ralph Lauren. Did you know: one polo player goes through 8 to 10 horses in ONE game?

See me hail a... cigarette? One of my dearest and most precocious children, Ian Sklarsky, has a provocative, and balls-out blog: noted in an instant. The pic therein may reveal my new address--as we were inspecting potential pads, and I think we found a really cool one. Stay tuned...

I'm Moving!

Forgive the silence. News flash: I'm moving the Hancock Building, #6102. Adventure awaits... stay tuned. And a shout out to you-know-who in Saudi Arabia, wow, and thanks for the email. This www is infinitely fascinating and delicious. 'Words words words' - prince ham.

Rick Santorum is insane.

Bloglinks to Peruse:

childless whore, Crescat Sententia, cogitation, Clearly Erroneous, Breakfast of Losers, effinchamp, Scott-O-Rama, Ditzy Genius, Exceptional Mediocrity, fuzzy sweater, aguysite blog, Notthatboy, Sex and the Second City, fabulous jackass, boy's briefs, Glennalicious, Vividblurry, At The Mountains of Madness, Derek Hartley, hitormiss, jere-rigged, Joe.My.God, The Royal Bedchamber, The Septimus Notes, thoughts flow like gritty sand, uffish thoughts, useless! worthless! insipid!, You Can't Make It Up, Fresh N' Tasty, Surrogate Mother Diary, the shower room, Thomas & Co., Water Colour Boy, Another horse that was red, Big Fat Hairy Living, BROTHA 2 BROTHA, A Spider's Web in Thornton Park, Roberto Jose, Shades of Gray, Apartment Therapy, ...and I am somebody, Brat Boy School, Dementedpanda, stop touching my food, Rentboy Diaries, dropdeadhappy, No, Dirty Kitty...No!!, Ardanwen'z world, buggery.org, Intertextual, untitled, The Apple Coda, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Watersea's Ocean Bloggie, Homeboi's Diary, Cornelius' Blog of Wondermentalitations, Bryanboy, CULTURE strain, aka Haas, bradford shellhammer, Coyote Fun, Clarke Caffeinated, What the..., Blurbology, corey, Wet Dreaming, dcist, Lindsayism, curbed, Gatsby's Ghost, Lucas Blog, Dapper Danger, Feast of Fools, It's my life..., DCLush, Not Enough Drew in the World, The Agatha Experience, Fleshbot, Manic Butterfly's journal, Tangent to Reality, Yeast Radio, Zeitzeuge, Wicked Man, Mus!que Sex N Wine, Epicureal Thoughts, Matt Welch, Dantallion's Can[n]on, someone in a tree, Travis, we, like sheep, Corporate Weasel, Silliman's Blog, litwindowpane, ambivalent imbroglio, Singing Loudly, Windypundit, ljc fyi, go fug yourself, Nudum Pactum, The Daily Mojocrat, primadonna, Gus Mattox, the wendy house, Conchology, Riverfall, a ridiculous raw youth, Steve's House of Love, Bent, therapist with a dream inside, frograbbitmonkey, the desert city, Postsecret, douganderson, Too Much Information, Conglomerate, Being Green, Barsk, Comma Comma Semi-Colon, easin' on down the road..., Canadian Content, Paul Frankenstein, The Shout, The Interminable Whatever, Bag and Baggage, manhattan transfer, jewish buddha, Handful of Sand, damn the muse, HereIType, buzzwords, crayon 17, The Life and Times of Chai, Whatever Remains, Screaming Bean, Not for Sheep, House of Kyle, VAGABONDING, the foreign embassy, Kitty Power Blog, Catherine's Pita, jejune, largehearted boy, F-Town, World of Matos, The Modern Age, The Daily Whim, Subliminal Inevitability, Slatch, Whatever Whenever, Stereo Describes My Scenario, Freespace, Freedom to Tinker, naked furniture, Ravings of an Intermittent Fool, L-Block, DesignerBlog, Drink More, "Blurt", dvboy, Slithery D, Sweat on the Brain, spacetropic, Poundy, bald sarcasm, troubled diva, petite anglaise, plasticbag.org, Dirty Dio Bach's, akafrankgreen, SEX, LIES & VIDEOTAPE, bj's gay porn-crazed ramblings, FrenchBenj, From The Ashes..., just another faggot, Worldwide Ryan, walky talky, The Willesden Herald, Naked Blog, the Ulterior, sevitzdotcom, Oddverse, JohnnyB's, Beyond Northern Iraq, Misadventures of the Little Hedonist, a beautiful revolution, ...this time, Musings from Middle England, gay canadian x party boy, Below 14th, overshadowed, Simpsons Archive, vitriolica webb's ite, The Search for Love in Manhattan, The Morning News, Degree Confluence Project, trash addict, slower, not too shabby, a boy & his toy, sta.r, NERVE, Pindeldyboz, Me Head, The American Undershirt, Sepulculture, josh blog, affordable justice, skykicking, Brad DeLong's Semi-Daily Journal, Matthew Yglesias, The Making of a Restaurant, rion.nu, The Importance of..., Velcrometer, Que Sera Sera, 5IVES, The Daily Howler, k-robo, Off-Topic, citycrab, jenandtonic, gin and tacos, Jimmy Legs, FUSSY, callalillie, Veiled Conceit, Liz is Working, Geese Aplenty, Pepper of the Earth, upside-down hippo, Izzle pfaff!, How To Learn Swedish, MINKERED, lightly toasted, Christian Finnegan, incidents and accidents, Carpe Manana, Small Spiral Notebook, mimi smartypants, waste of tape, an allegorical life, brokentype, finslippy, ESCHATON, fresh pepper?, The Rob Log, Poesy galore, Jon Persky

Law Blogs:
Law Dork, Inter Alia, How Appealing, Fourth Amendment.com, legal fiction, Jeremy's Weblog, Injustice Anywhere, Sua Sponte, FalconRed, lessig blog, Color of Law, Legal Quandary, A Criminal Waste of Space, The Suburban Ecstasies, May It Please The Court, I respectfully dissent, a Public Defender, Blonde Justice, Barely Legal: The Blog, Anonymous Lawyer, The Unreasonable Man, DUI BLOG, Avoiding Billiable Hours, desiderata, Injustice for All, Biting Tongue, Frolics and Detours, imaginary law, If Cardozo Were Alive, Naked Drinking Coffee, Letters of Marque, Three Years of Hell, Buffalo Wings & Vodka, Crime & Federalism, Is That Legal?, CrimProf Blog, Legal Memo-Random, Legal Theory Lexicon, Discourse.net, The Prosecutor's Spot, PhilosophicaLawyer, On Firm Ground, Alaskablawg, joegratz, Ernie the Attorney, Criminal Appeal, jurygeek, Crimlaw, Legal Theory Blog, Mister District Attorney, Public Defender Law Clerk, Rogue Slayer Law Student Movie Fan, techno-babble & law, Stay of Execution, TaxProf Blog, The Deviant Lawyer, The Uncivil Litigator, Tech Law Prof Blog

"They hate our way of life"

'Terrorists attack us because they hate our way of life.'
This is yet another greasy, specious lie resonating from the mentally handicapped right-wing echo-chamber. 'They hate our way of life! They hate our way of life...!"
That's a lie. They don't murder us because they hate our way of life. They murder us because they hate their way of life, and they believe we are responsible for same.

Tuck & Booby

I feel kinda dirty, and I have a confession to make. I like two pop culture personalities--a pair that seem incongruous with my weltanschauung. Ugh, this is hard to admit...okay, here it goes... I like Tucker Carlson and Bobby Brown. There it is. Are my sins shriven? Tucker has an interesting / annoying new show [The Situation]. One of his co-hosts is a mouthy, butch little lezbean, who really stirs it up. Much of his logic is firm if not solid--he's occasionally so rational it's hard to believe he's Republican. And Booby Brown, trash, by social standards, is mysteriously genuine, and a people lover--unlike Whitney Brown (his distaff side-kick) who seems to loathe humans in general. My affection has shifted from Whitney to Booby. He's got issues--but he's a good egg. The next time I read about Boob smacking the shit out of Whit--I'll sign an amicus brief in his defense. Tuck and Booby are okay with me.

Shirley MacLaine

What an excellent evening we had with Shirley MacLaine. Dinner was a smashing success. Bill Kurtis was M of C. Bill Zwecker spoke, as did some other critics--Roger Ebert recorded a video to Shirley, as did Sally Field, et. al. Harold Ramis was there--strange to see such an old Ghostbuster. Michael Kutza was shining as bright as always. Shirley spoke for a while--she had us call out movie titles: "Postcards!", "Apartment!", "Two Mules!", "Terms!", "Steel Magnolias!', "Being There!" and then she gave us all sorts of juicy inside gossip about the films, directors, and/or stars respectively (I have stories about Debra Winger that would really creep you out).
And Shirley didn't hesitate to file her nails while talking to reporters... which I especially admired. What a fantastic actress. What a delicious night.

For The Articles

I sat down at the barber's (Gabby's), and picked up a Playboy--yikes--it's probably been a decade since I've fingered a Playboy... it fell open to an article about RuPaul, and it was actually a delicious piece--of good writing. I flipped some more pages... a titty or two popped out, eeeek, flip flip flip some more... and there was another excellent article. Could it be people really do get it for the articles? Eventually I picked up Out magazine--it fell open to an article about the creepy queen in Six Feet Under... yikes. My curse--a fag who detests most popular gay culture (or is it popular culture altogether?). I dropped the Out mag in disgust and returned the Playboy. Next time you're waiting for the barber, check out Playboy. Read around the titties... you might be pleasantly surprised.

Heinous Queer Eye

With all my mind I detest this show. Five of the most shallow, heinous, mediocre ribbon clerks rolling in and snuffling inanity--like kittens roll in and snuffle catnip. I look forward in 20 years to watching the E! THS on The Fag Five. I bet their lives will all end as poetically as Dana Plato's. I can't decide which one of the appalling five most disgusts me. The inanity. The wholesale and utter inanity.

Up Your East

Alexis Worthington was the reigning cynosure of her demimonde - a position she unlaboriously maintained due to the two upper-east side blocks her husband owned. He (Mr. Alexis) spent his afternoons entangled down in Chelsea with a nervy, go-go-boy-toy-chest whom he had confused with someone worthy of his attention. Tommy Hammerbottom (the toy-chest) had returned from Vishisht, India where he had spent 22 days smoking hash with a Sadu named Kpkldx, and reading Jules Alfred Huot de Goncourt in an attempt to later regurgitate (at just the right party) an intimate account of nineteenth century Parisian society. He professed a zeal for understanding both social history and art criticism (although the volume of his pecs belied the genuineness of professed zeal). Tommy would never write a naturalistic novel, but this was not for him a source of great distress. Mr. Alexis had originally married a toothless toll-booth worker from Dayton, Ohio - an act which had been done (then undone) infelicitously many years before fortune had carried him to Manhattan. (Remember the pre-fortune toll-booth Mrs. Worthington, as she is just the sort to resurface at the most untoward moment).

In the next coop but one from Alexis lived the Spacklewacks of the "Spacklewax" fortune. Mrs. Spacklewack found great linguistic amusement in the homophonic relationship between the word for any two of her nuclear relatives and the polymer responsible for keeping all of them up to their nipples in opulence. She dispatched most of her afternoons shopping, and on the occasions her ankles were too swollen to stroll, she reclined on a silk setee near the casement window and shopped via The Robb Report. Mrs. Spacklwack was as well known for her tersely phrased statements of opinion as she was for her strawberry guavas. If women received spectral ratings, she would be a W (indicating a Wolf-Ravet gal), the hottest type of women that shines with the steadiest light.

The Spacklewack line had not been the luckiest bunch. The eruption of Soufriere killed two of Mr. Spacklewack's great grandparents - thus truncating their 1902 tour of the West Indies. All four of his grandparents drowned mysteriously in the Weddell Sea, and his parents both met untimely doom after enjoying a summer salad garnished with clusters of small white flowers and purple-mottled stems which his mother had mistaken for a certain herb in the carrot family - a mistake ending in tossed hemlock. Their son was born. I only end the sentence that way because it is argued that their daughter was not. (Rather she sprang from her mother's closet fully dressed.) Anyway, their son was born in the Pamir mountains in 1962 - the same year that the name of the highest point in Tajikistan was renamed Communism Peak (remember Tajikistan, it's key to the monk we'll meet later)....

I think I've written the first page of about 92 short stories. One day I plan to finish one... but I hate fiction.

Zootulsa

Tulsa, Oklahoma has saturated the global news transom lately--with this Zoo Debate. Having spent the first 17 years of my life in Tulsa, I feel qualified to editorialize regarding same. The scientists of America are actually making some kind of effort to thwart the Tulsa religious. That's all very romantic, but here's the truth of the matter: the efforts of science here are futile. It will make no difference if they install a mural of evolutionary processes. Religion Reigns Supreme. In fact, you could relocate the Field Museum to Tulsa and they still wouldn't get it. The dinosaur bones would be explained away in a zillion different bizarre and amusing ways. You could move MIT, Oxford, the Sorbonne, Cambridge, Harvard, NASA, and the fucking Smithsonian to Tulsa, and these august institutions would languish--vacant. A few bible-brandishers would litter the empty parking lots, screaming obscenities at any wicked faggots, hippies, environmentalists, or other such baby-killers who might venture upon their respective lots. But fear not ye faithful... the risers at Oral Roberts University will remain packed to the ceilings every Sunday morning. When you're "blessed" the way Tulsa is "blessed", one plus one equals anything you want it to... as long as you believe it does.

Kei Rentari Where Are You?

Garlic and sapphires in the mud
Clot the bedded axle-tree.
The trilling wire in the blood
Sings below inveterate scars
Appeasing long forgotten wars.
The dance along the artery
The circulation of the lymph
Are figured in the drift of stars
Ascend to summer in the tree
We move above the moving tree
In light upon the figured leaf
And hear upon the sodden floor
Below, the boarhound and the boar
Pursue their pattern as before
But reconciled among the stars.

Minda-Kai and Me

Glamourpuss Central... in... Oklahoma? I attended my high school reunion with this supermodel (and best friend). Oklahoma still has not fully recovered. Sweet irony.

Desert

Desert, somewhere between Rajasthan and Pakistan. It was so hot here we didn't even see dung beetles. Wow. That's HOT.