Gays in the Millinery

OMG. Is there anything gayer looking than the military? I just can't get my mind around how queer it all looks. So horrifying, especially the hats. Yes, hats. 'Hey look at us... big, tough, butch Marines... in our HATS!' I'm shocked there aren't more balloons in the military, balloons and hats go together. Yikes. How does the U.S. government convince heterosexual, male, armed killers to wear HATS?! Can someone PLEASE explain this to me? I feel ridiculous in my Charlie Rose baseball cap, I can't imagine how I'd feel if it had gold sculptures attached to it. It's all just so bizarre. Thank god I have a free-pass "out" of the military. Let someone else die in these loony religious wars. I'd much rather stay here... and take care of the women.