Better off than Walton

Yesterday, Wal-Mart heir John Walton was infinitely better off than you. Today you are infinitely better off than John Walton (you're also a lot richer). Country's eleventh richest man killed in plane crash... yikes.

Another child was eaten by a shark yesterday. Please note: your chances of being eaten by sharks or immolated in jet fuel are significantly reduced by REMAINING ON LAND. I repeat: if you don't have fins--stay out of the ocean, and if you don't have wings--stay out of the troposphere. Duh.

HANG IN THERE MR. CHIEF JUSTICE. HANG IN THERE YOU TOUGH OLD NERD.